History of Sex in Cinema:
The Greatest and Most Influential
Sexual Films and Scenes


2007, Part 2

The History of Sex in Cinema
Title Screen
Movie Title/Year and Film/Scene Description

Good Luck Chuck (2007)

This raunchy, vulgar, and crass romantic comedy was not for prudes due to its frequent foul-mouthed dialogue and sex scenes. It was from first-time director Mark Helfrich and scriptwriter Josh Stolberg who were emulating the successful Wedding Crashers (2005). It was most noted for its frequent nudity from lots of different female characters, due to the racy content and plot.

The film told about the main character:

  • Charlie "Chuck" Logan (Dane Cook), a likeable, affluent dentist

He was cursed with the fact that every woman he slept with would find true everlasting love with the next guy she dated. A newspaper advertised his good-luck charm or 'gift' ("a dentist drill you'll want") - which he wished to find a way to end, but which also allowed him to bed down numerous eager women (unknown actresses). However, he had a more likely chance at a real relationship with klutzy penguin trainer Cam Wexler (Jessica Alba), but feared losing her by sleeping with her.

In one early scene, blonde Carol (Chelan Simmons) went topless on a sandy beach with Charlie and provided him with oral sex, although she was angered by his non-loving attitude ("I'm licking the sand off your balls and you say that's nice!").

In another scene, well-endowed patient Pleasure's (Yasmine Vox) boob job was inspected ("Are they even?") by Charlie's sex-obsessed, breast-fixated plastic surgeon friend Dr. Stu Kaminsky (Dan Fogler) - who repeatedly would masturbate with a grapefruit!

The film also featured a Kama Sutra-style, split-screen montage of one-night stand sex-capades with Charlie in lots of creative and contortionistic sexual positions and scenes with his many partners including:

The One-Night Stands

Dirty Talker (Carrie Ann Fleming)

Shower Lover (Susan McLellan)

George W Lover (Kari-Ann Wood) with George W inscribed above her 'bushy' panties

Red-Haired Lover (Michelle Andrew)

Holy Lover (Victoria Bidewell)

Thankful Lover (Viviana Dal Cengio)

Post-operative Trans-sexual Lover Megan/Matthew
(Simone Bailly)

There were also lovers, such as the Kitchen Counter Lover Jessica Olafson, Wheelbarrow Lover Eliza Bayne, and Ceiling Lover Elizabeth Schnitzker.

Carol (Chelan Simmons)

Pleasure (Yasmine Vox)

Hack! (2007)

Director/writer Matt Flynn's work was a cliched, satirical and derivatively 'hacked' horror film. The tagline was: "Reality Kills," while many of the characters were references to famous horror-related names, i.e., Mary Shelley, King, Stoker, Argento, Bates, etc.. Also, the self-aware dialogue came from horror films - such as Scream, The Shining, and more.

In the opening, iconic slasher villain Kane Hodder (from the Friday the 13th films) was stalked through the woods and beheaded - the film's first victim.

The story was about a wildlife field trip gone awry, after seven unsuspecting, randomly-selected college students sailed on the Orca to the island of eccentric and reclusive Vincent King (Sean Kanan). He lived there with his film-obsessed wife Mary Shelley (Juliet Landau) who always carried a hand-held 16 mm. camera for the couple's "extreme" film-making ventures. Danica McKellar (grown-up from the TV series The Wonder Years) starred as the bookish, sweet and virginal Emily, a biology major who organized the trip.

The students found themselves murdered one-by-one, staged in inventive ways by the strange couple, in the warped style of various re-enacted, landmark horror film scenes (from The Ring and others).

The students found that they had unknowingly ventured onto the set of a snuff film - the film's main plot point. There was mostly excessive violence in the film including mutilated bodies and butcherings:

  • football jock-stud Tim (Travis Schuldt) - a circular chainsaw
  • African-American rapper-stoner Q (Wondgy 'Won-G' Bruny) - a crushed neck
  • Sheriff Stoker (Tony Burton) - an axing
  • Mary Shelley - neck biting
  • Asian homosexual Ricky (Justin Chon) - shot dead
  • lesbian punkish goth girl Maddy (Adrienne Frantz) - impaled by spike
  • groundskeeper Willy (William Forsythe) - shot in the head
  • Emily - shot in abdomen with flare-gun

The main plot twist was that Emily had lured everyone to the island (she was in cahoots with Vincent and having an affair with him, behind Mary's back), in order to have them participate in the snuff film. The only two student survivors were:

  • Johnny (Jay Kenneth Johnson), Emily's handsome boyfriend
  • Sylvia (Gabrielle Richens), a buxom British exchange student

There were only a few instances of nudity from the cast, mostly from Gabrielle Richens as Sylvia. At the oceanside, she pulled up her shirt and flashed everyone, to reveal her implant-enhanced breasts. She also had her top removed while lying down, but was able to escape when her male partner was bloodied by being sawed in half.

Sylvia (Gabrielle Richens)

Emily (Danica McKellar) - Plot Twist Killer

Halloween (2007)

Rob Zombie's nasty remake Halloween (2007) of John Carpenter's original slasher film Halloween (1978) was much more explicit in terms of female nudity and bloody gore, although it still retained the main thesis that promiscuous sexual behavior usually would lead to death.

[Note: The unrated version contained a horrific double-rape scene in Michael Myers' cell, committed by two staff workers at the Smith's Grove Sanitarium.]

The film told the backstory of how 10-year old Michael Myers (Daeg Faerch) grew up in a white trash family in Haddonfield, Illinois, and went on a family killing spree of three brutal murders - the result of his life of continual torment and teasing.

Young Michael's slutty sister Judith Myers (Hanna Hall) refused to take him trick-or-treating, but instead chose to have sex with her long-haired boyfriend Steven Haley (Adam Weisman). Michael soon found revenge through a series of horrific and vicious murders. He first sliced his mean, lazy and lecherous stepfather Ronnie White's (William Forsythe) throat with a large butcher knife after duct-taping him to his lounge chair and then stabbed him to death. Then in the kitchen, he brutally clobbered Steve on the head repeatedly with an aluminum baseball bat. While wearing Steve's grayish, featureless mask, he also stabbed Judith in the stomach and then kept stabbing her in the back as she crawled down the hallway.

During treatment at Smith's Grove Sanitarium following a conviction of first-degree murder, the mask-obsessed, psychopathic patient ("It hides my ugliness") was put under the care of psychologist Dr. Loomis (Malcom McDowell) for fifteen years while becoming completely mute and violence-prone, causing his despairing mother to commit suicide by a gunshot.

Michael escaped after murdering a few guards ("it's a f--king massacre") and returned to Haddonfield, Illinois as an older, silent homicidal, brutish, hulking 26 year-old maniac (Tyler Mane) to further terrorize the town on Halloween 1978. His targets included 17 year-old high-school senior/babysitter Laurie Strode/Myers (Scout Taylor-Compton) (Michael's orphaned sister!), her adoptive Strode family, and her girlfriends:

  • Lynda Van Der Klok (Kristina Klebe), foul-mouthed, slutty and conceited
  • Annie Brackett (Danielle Harris, who played pre-pubescent kid Jamie in Halloween 4 (1988) and Halloween 5 (1989)), the sheriff's daughter

Lynda had sex with her boyfriend Bob (Nick Mennell) in the dilapidated and vacant Myers house, and afterwards went to get beer. When he returned, she mistakenly believed that it was Bob. Michael had just stabbed her boyfriend against a wall while holding him up, and was wearing a white sheet and glasses. Michael brutally strangled Lynda from behind and then carried off her fully nude body. Michael's next two victims were Mr. and Mrs. Strode (Pat Skipper and Dee Wallace) in their own home.

Michael also came upon Annie, who skipped her babysitting duties to have sex with her boyfriend Paul (Max Van Ville). While they were having sexual intercourse on the couch in the Wallace home, Michael interrupted them and attacked them. He first killed Paul by hanging him by the stairs (and placing a pumpkin on his head) and then bloodied half-naked Annie as he assaulted her throughout the house. She was discovered at the foot of the stairs by Laurie. And then suddenly, Michael reappeared.

The film ended with a lengthy bloody confrontation between Laurie and her pursuing brother Michael who had carried her to the Myers home. There, Michael had set up a shrine, placing Lynda's naked body at the foot of the Myers concrete headstone he had stolen earlier from the graveyard. He presented Laurie with a childhood photo (he knew she was his sister, but she didn't understand), and removed his mask for her, but she stabbed him in the chest with his own butcher knife. After further pursuit, the film culminated with Laurie firing one shot point-blank at the face of the evil monster with Loomis' .357 Magnum, as sirens approached.

Judith Myers (Hanna Hall)

Lynda Van Der Klok (Kristina Klebe)

Annie Brackett (Danielle Harris)

The Heartbreak Kid (2007)

The Farrelly Brothers' remade the 1972 comedy classic (with a Neil Simon script) with this raunchier, mean-spirited, and vulgar version that starred Ben Stiller as the commitment-phobic, neurotic, 40-ish Eddie Cantrow (Charles Grodin in the original).

In the film's opening set in San Francisco, where Eddie worked in a sporting-goods store, his dirty-minded, orange-toupeed 77 year-old father Doc (Jerry Stiller, his real-life dad) asked about Eddie's sex life: "You been crushing any pussy?... who you booming?" - and then suggested that Eddie not attend the wedding of his ex-fiancee Jodi (Ali Hillis) but instead tag-team with him in Las Vegas: "Maybe we'll get lucky and tag-team a couple of broads."

[Later in another scene, Eddie's vulgar father was seen in a Las Vegas hot tub with a big-busted blonde (porn star Kayla Kleevage) whose gigantic breasts floated on the surface.]

After finding his blonde dreamgirl Lila (Malin Akerman, closely resembling Stiller's There's Something About Mary (1998) co-star Cameron Diaz, and played by Jeannie Berlin in the original), who Eddie aided during a street mugging, he married her after only a short six-week courtship.

His first shock during the wedding reception was that his mother-in-law (Kathy Lamkin) was obese, and happily claimed that she wore the same exact wedding dress that her daughter was wearing on her wedding day.

During a three-week road trip, they traveled to Cabo San Lucas in Mexico for a hellish honeymoon. They were obviously mis-matched from the start, and she had annoying habits that became amplified, such as off-key singing to the radio, eating gluttonously, and admitting to having enormous debts and a deviated septum because of a cocaine-snorting habit.

She had insatiable, nymphomaniacal demands as a predatory tigress in a hotel room, even before getting to Mexico. She wanted to experiment with different acrobatic positions during sex, and asked for "the inverted corkscrew...it's just like the Swedish helicopter, except you spin me...no, never mind, just jackhammer me!" He stated that he preferred the 'missionary position' instead: "Why don't we just, you know, do, like, a little missionary position for a little bit?...Missionary position. You know. It's like, you know, when I'm on top of you, just a regular guy on top of a girl?" Then she asked naively: "Can you pile drive me from that position?"

And then once again in Mexico during non-stop, S&M kinky sex, she cried out: ("Cock me, cock me!... "I've been a bad girl. Now hit me!"). Lila also mocked him for having a 'pussy' (calling him a 'faggot') and not wanting his nipples pinched:

"Do you have a pussy?...Well, what are you, a faggot, Eddie?...Well, then, slap me! Slap me like this! That's right! What's the matter? I thought little girls liked getting their nipples pinched... Yeah! Oh, I love it! Like it rough! Yes! Yes, Eddie, yes! Cock me! Cock me! Cock me, Eddie!...F--k me like a black guy, Eddie! Come on!"

When she became horribly sunburned, Eddie met sweet Oxford, Mississippi brunette Miranda (Michelle Monaghan, portrayed by Cybill Shepherd in the original film), a college lacrosse coach vacationing with her family - the real woman of his dreams.

There was also the outrageous scene (meant to rival the 'hair-gel' scene in There's Something About Mary (1998)) in which Lila revealed her overgrown pubic hair and genital-piercing jewelry when she had to urinate on Eddie's back to soothe a jellyfish sting.

The dissatisfied Eddie divorced Lila, but was delayed and unable to rendezvous with Miranda in Mississippi before she was married, because of problems crossing the border. Eighteen months later, he had moved away from San Francisco and was running a surf shop on a Mexican beach where Miranda suddenly reappeared. She was in Mexico for the vow renewals of her Uncle and Aunt, and admitted that she was now single after separating from her husband Cal (Johnny Sneed): "He's a great guy, but we probably should've never gotten married....I guess now I know what you went through on your honeymoon." They decided to have drinks at 7:00 pm that evening.

In the film's major plot twist, he turned to speak to his Mexican wife of one year - named Consuela (a cameo by Eva Longoria) - (on their anniversary) - and had to explain why he was speaking to another female. He lied to her and claimed she was Gretchen Construbias, the CEO of a water-wear sports supplier, and implied that he might have 'bad news' for her later. His last words to Consuela were: "Love, love, love, love, love," and then he whispered under his breath: "F--k me."

By film's end during the title credits in one of the film's many coarse gags, it was implied that Lila had finally found sexual satisfaction with a donkey - she was heard shouting: "Cock me, cock me! Yes, yes! Finally! Yes, you're doing it!" after which she was seen sleeping, while the satisfied animal was smoking a cigarette and seated at the foot of her bed.

[Note: The donkey had been seen earlier in the film (visibly aroused) in a carnival sex show behind closing barn doors - reportedly an exhibit of Mexican folk dancing.]

Eddie's Wedding to Lila

Lila (Malin Akerman)

Jellyfish Sting Urination

Miranda (Michelle Monaghan)

Consuela (Eva Longoria)

Hot Tub Blonde (Kayla Kleevage)

The Infamous Donkey

Hostel Part II (2007)

This second installment of the bloody slasher film by Eli Roth was rightly accused of being 'torture-porn' or 'violence-porn.' The tables were turned -- the victims were three American college-aged females. who were vacationing in Eastern Europe, where they were befriended and then betrayed by another Slovakian - a beautiful nude model named Axelle (Vera Jordanova).

In the film's 10 minute prologue, the surviving, ill-fated Paxton Rodriguez (Jay Hernandez) from the first film was hospitalized in Europe and questioned about his experiences in Slovakia a week earlier, where he had survived and escaped. In a flashback, he described: "It's some kind of factory, where these people, these very rich people, they pay to torture and kill kids. Mostly backpackers. And they killed two of my friends....They take you from this hostel and they bring you to this factory..." He described how members of the 'hunting club' who killed people all had tattoos of a bloodhound dog. Paxton was asked about a dead man in a toilet stall in Vienna with the same bloodhound tattoo. It was suspected that Paxton had murdered the man, and there was proof that he was there - he had been videotaped on security cameras. One of the questioners showed his own bloodhound tattoo, and Paxton was seized in his bed and stabbed in the heart, and his abdomen was split open and internal organs were seized.

Paxton's Questioning by Authorities - A Nightmarish Dream

Paxton Decapitated with Cat on Stump

Delivery of Package with Paxton's Severed Head to Head of Elite Hunting Club, Sasha (Milan Knazko)

(later) Paxton's Mounted Head in Sasha's Trophy Room

Back in the US, Paxton was regularly waking up in the middle of the night, suffering nightmarish dreams and visions. His concerned girlfriend Stephanie (Jordan Ladd) was upset that he refused to report to the police what had occurred in Slovakia: ("These people are tied into everyone. Somebody starts asking questions, they're gonna come after me, and they're gonna find me..."); she felt that he was "going crazy." The next morning, she found him seated upright at their breakfast kitchen table. He had been cleanly decapitated by a chain-saw (with a cat licking on the bloody headless stump). The severed head was presumably delivered in a large box to the manager of the Elite Hunting Club in Slovakia - it was later displayed in a room of the manager Sasha's home with other trophy heads.

Three new victims for this sequel were in Rome as college-aged art students:

  • Beth (Lauren German), a self-possessed, studious rich girl
  • Whitney (Bijou Phillips), spoiled, pretty, sex-crazed and slutty
  • Lorna (Heather Matarazzo), a socially-awkward, journal-keeping, sheltered nerd-loner from Baltimore, a non-drinker

Beth (Lauren German)

Whitney (Bijou Phillips)

Lorna (Heather Matarazzo)

Beth was enticed by their beautiful and statuesque nude model Axelle (Vera Jordanova), another Slovakian, during art class. On their overnight train ride to Prague, Axelle happened to be traveling there too, and befriended the girls when they ran into trouble with some unpleasant Italian guys. She urged the girls to take a diversion from Prague to Slovakia in Eastern Europe - for a brief vacation spa visit and stay in a hostel with cheap prices of 10 euros for a night. Unbeknownst to them, the creepy hostel Desk Clerk (Milda Havlas) uploaded their passport photos to an auction site where their lives were bid upon.

Unbeknownst to them, Axelle was working for Sasha (Milan Knazko) who was running an underground murder-for-money operation, the Elite Hunting Club in Slovakia. They were betrayed when two Americans businessmen pals bid upon the new crop of victims:

  • Todd (Richard Burgi), a rich, self-assured, bad-ass, arrogant and sadistic individual
  • Stuart (Roger Bart), a wimpy and quieter man who suffered from ethical qualms and second thoughts
Two American Businessmen

Stuart (Rogert Bart)

Todd (Richard Burgi)

Once Todd and Stuart arrived in Slovakia, Stuart expressed concerns that he didn't want to be tattooed with the 'Bloodhound' symbol, as Todd encouraged him: "This is not like going to a whorehouse. You can't just back out." Shortly later, Todd continued to promote the goal of their murder-vacation:

Sometimes, you meet a guy and there's just something f--king scary about him. Something that makes you think this guy has killed somebody. He doesn't have to act tough. He never has to say it. But like an animal, you can sense it. You know that this guy's got the balls to do what few others can. And that's you after today, my friend. People are gonna f--king fear you. Linda is gonna f--king fear you. What we do today is gonna pay off every day for the rest of our f--king lives.

The first casualty was a drunken Lorna, who was kidnapped during the village's outdoor Dozinski (Harvest Festival) by a local man named Roman (Roman Janecka), who had offered her a boat ride. With two accomplices, she was hooded, gagged, and taken away. She was stripped, gagged, and hung by chains upside down by her ankles in a dungeon - while the female client Mrs. Bathory (Monika Malacova) entered (behind her) and removed her black robe to reveal her nakedness, and reclined below her in an ornately-decorated tub surrounded by candles. Lorna was first terrorized when the bather took a large hand-held scythe by her side and stroked the bare skin of the torture victim, and then cut off her mouth gag. Swinging above her, Lorna begged for her life. She was repeatedly sliced (and had her throat slit) by the sick female client below her who slashed away with a large scythe and ecstatically bathed naked in the blood as it dripped down upon her, in the style of Elizabeth Bathory in the large bath, who believed that she would retain her youthful image by bathing in the blood.

Mrs. Bathory's (Monika Malacova) Blood-Bath with Lorna

In the heavily-guarded torture factory, Whitney was tied up in a chair and prepped by an old woman applying makeup to her bruised face who said she wouldn't hurt her: ("I clean you up...I make you pretty"). Whitney retaliated by biting off the woman's nose. Whitney escaped, but then was recaptured when security guards locked the gates surrounding her.

Todd and Stuart Suited Up And Ready To Torture

Torture Implements

Stuart Face to Face with Beth

Whitney Chained Up with Todd

Meanwhile, both Stuart and Todd were alerted that preparations had been made for them. They were chauffeured to the torture factory, and outfitted with skull caps and workers' uniforms. Stuart was led to a cell where Beth was imprisoned, after being prepped by Axelle and then captured by guards and taken to the factory. He was aghast at a collection of saws and other torture implements on a table in a side room. He was still suffering some trepidations and initially thought about letting her go, after telling her: "People come here to kill people." However, once Stuart allowed Beth to leave, he snapped and punched her in the face, and again restrained her in a chair. Stuart became sadistic and deranged, and directed his anger toward her - believing she closely resembled his wife Linda in a loveless marriage.

At the same time, Whitney was being taunted by Todd (Richard Burgi) who was there for recreational slaughter. He was wielding an electric rotary saw, but when the saw became unplugged, he replugged it and accidentally sliced into Whitney's scalp and realized the true horror of what he was doing and began to leave ("I am not going back in that room. I'm done!"). As he fled without killing her (against the rules of his contract), he was attacked and mauled by two German shepherd guard dogs in an elevator and eaten alive.

Still alive, the maimed Whitney was bandaged up and offered at a "special" discount to other clients ("Very good price"), including a middle-aged Italian Cannibal (notorious Italian director Ruggero Deodato of Cannibal Holocaust (1980)), who was busy dining on the thigh meat of another unfortunate victim, a local man named Miroslav (Stanislav Ianevski). When Stuart was offered to kill Whitney, he accepted and sought revenge for Todd's gruesome and bloody death. He left Beth for the time being, and went off to behead Whitney.

When the deranged Stuart soon returned, Beth tricked Stuart into releasing her to have sex on the floor. She reversed things, grabbed a lead pipe and bashed him in the head, and then chained Stuart to the chair. When armed guards and dogs arrived, there was a stand-off as she threatened to castrate Stuart, and bargained to speak with Sasha, the owner of the factory. She offered to exchange some of her fortune (recently inherited from her mother) for her freedom ("I wanna buy my way out of here"). Her offer was accepted to leave, but she first had to become a client and kill someone. Beth agreed - and sliced off Stuart's genitals with a large pair of shears. The castrated parts were tossed to guard dogs to eat, as the screaming Stuart was left to bleed to death. Beth had become an official member of the Elite Hunting group, with a bloodhound tattoo placed in the middle of her back.

That same evening, Beth sought vengeance against Axelle in the woods by ambushing her and beheading her with a large scythe - a gang of kids kicked her head around like a soccer ball as the film ended.

Nude Art Model Axelle (Vera Jordanova)

Axelle Befriending the Trio On the Train to Prague

Creepy Hostel Desk Clerk (Milda Havlas)

Online Bidding-Auction Site For the Girls

Axelle Leading the Girls Around Slovakia

Mrs. Bathory (Monika Malacova)

Whitney Tied Up in Chair and Gagged

Female Make-Up Woman's Face With Nose Bitten Off by Whitney

Todd Mauled in Elevator by Dogs While Trying to Leave

Italian Cannibal Offered to Bid on Whitney While Dining on Thigh Meat of Male Victim Miroslav

Stand-off: Beth with Stuart Negotiating with Sasha For Release

Stuart's Castration by Beth

Axelle Beheaded by Beth

I Really Hate My Job (2007, UK)

This stagey, Oliver Parker-directed comedy/drama (with screenplay by Jennifer Higgie) depicted one day at a trendy London restaurant on the Thames. From its opening to closing, it displayed the lives of five working-class women, including its main star:

  • Abi (Neve Campbell), an American waitress/bartender

In a most notable scene as the brash and loud Abbie broke down in a mid-life crisis, she stood stark naked in the restaurant amidst the patrons. She delivered a drunken, self-absorbed, self-pitying monologue about how she was a debt-ridden, aspiring wannabe actress who was forced to work in the restaurant. She complained about only being offered an "art-porn" role. (She was eagerly anticipating the arrival of a famous Hollywood actor at the restaurant that night.)

She also was upset that she was about to turn 30 years of age, and described how she had just broken up with her boyfriend (who continued to send her text messages about the break-up).

Abi (Neve Campbell)

Knocked Up (2007)

Writer/director Judd Apatow's R-rated romantic comedy (with a heart) starred two mismatched individuals who had sex during a drunken one-night stand, while celebrating her recent promotion:

  • Alison Scott (Katherine Heigl), a gorgeous, career-girl blonde
  • Ben Stone (Seth Rogen in his first leading role), a chubby, unambitious, bong-loving, LA-based Canadian slacker/loser

When they stripped down and had sex, he mentioned: "You're prettier than I am." Although he pulled out a condom and was fumbling to put it on, he tossed it away. The next morning when he awoke with his large and bare rear end staring her in the face, he hardly remembered their love-making, noting and asking:

"I'm naked...Did we have sex?...Nice."

When they had breakfast together before she left for work, they exchanged information about their occupations. She was a recently-promoted on-air E! TV show interviewer, while he was 'employed' with his stoner roommates developing a nude-celebrity website (fleshofthestars.com) to tell fans about where in a film an actress (such as Meg Ryan) "shows her tits." He grossly offered: "I'll show you Meg Ryan's bush."

About eight weeks later, the results of Alison's multiple home pregnancy tests were shockingly "positive" (although she hadn't been to the gynecologist yet, and wasn't 100% sure). It was an unlikely scenario when Alison became pregnant.

The next time they met after the fateful night (and morning after), when she invited him to dinner at a Hollywood restaurant, she shared with him that she was possibly pregnant and that he was the father - the first words from his mouth were "F--k off!" Then, he sputtered about how he wasn't responsible claiming that she had told him not to wear a condom:

"You told me not to...I almost had the condom on my dick. It was on the cusp, and then you said 'Just do it already'...I assumed you were wearing a patch or like - a dental dam or one of those f--king butterfly clips or something...It's like saran wrap, it's disgusting, OK, but I thought you had one."

When she asserted that she was drunk and didn't mean for him to not wear a condom, he asked: "Was your vagina drunk?"

When it was confirmed that she was pregnant during a visit to the gynecologist's office together where they viewed a sonogram, they decided to keep the baby. Their relationship slowly turned from being mismatched and accidental to one of growing friendship and eventual true love and fidelity.

In one of the funniest but true-to-life sex scenes, when Ben made love to a very pregnant and swollen-bellied Alison and she demanded him to thrust harder and deeper, he freaked out. He was worried that he was going to damage the fetus:

"All I'm thinking of is that I weigh over 200 pounds...All I see is our baby getting poked in the face by my penis."

He stopped when he felt the baby in the womb give him a "warning kick."

The tone changed from the typical raunchy penis and fart jokes and a phenomenal 120 instances of the F-word to a heartwarming finale. In the film's climactic birth scene, she screamed in pain for an epidural with Ben at her side, but the baby was already crowning. During the birth, there were insert shots of her vagina (possibly a prosthetic) as the baby girl was emerging when she requested to see herself (in a mirror's reflection), but then decided it was too much to watch.

Afterwards, the happy but overwhelmed couple left the hospital in the film's satisfying conclusion with a The Graduate-like "what happens now" ending. Seth drove home, going a safe speed of only 12 mph, predicting that it would take them three hours.

Alison Scott (Katherine Heigl) and Ben Stone (Seth Rogen)

The Climactic Birth Scene

The Last Mistress (2007, Fr.) (aka Une Vieille Maîtresse)

Controversial female French director Catherine Breillat's unrated film about sexual obsession brought together a period costume drama with raw sensuality from European actress Asia Argento. The film was based on Jules-Amédée Barbey d'Aurevilly's scandalous 19th-century novel.

The erotic drama told about the ramifications of an engagement between a couple in 19th century Paris:

  • Ryno de Marigny (Fu'ad Aït Aattou), an impoverished libertine, puffy-lipped playboy
  • Hermangarde de Polmaron (Roxane Mesquida) (with a shaved pubis seen in one explicit scene), a respectable, rich aristocrat, blonde and virginal

Of course, this presented a challenge to his notorious, sexually-insatiable and ever-ready courtesan-mistress La Vellini (Asia Argento), the femme fatale. The courtesan, with sensually-erotic hair curls, was the illegitimate, earthy daughter of an Italian princess and a Spanish matador. Vellini was involved in a marriage of convenience to an older man.

The defiant, smoky-voiced Vellini was shocked to learn of the betrothal, but assertively wished to remain his mutually-obsessed mistress during their 10-year affair.

The film, mostly told in flashback, contained explicit sex scenes, and some memorable ones including the enchantress Vellini eating an ice-cream cone in a paper wrapper or attempting to lick the blood from her lover's bullet wound in his chest ("I want to drink his blood. No one can stop me") after he lost a duel to Vellini's wronged husband.

Ice Cream Cone Scene

Licking Blood From Bullet Wound

Hermangarde (Roxane Mesquida)

Courtesan-Mistress La Vellini (Asia Argento)

Explicit Sex Scenes

Look (2007)

Director Adam Rifkin's voyeuristic, fictional feature film was significant for being the first U.S. mainstream movie to depict events solely through the "eyes" and point-of-view of surveillance devices and video cameras. However, it brought up the over-riding and disturbing controversial issue of privacy and the nature of our Orwellian 21st Century post-9/11 world.

It opened with a Southern California (Northridge) department store/mall dressing room surveillance camera 'watching' two nubile, topless 15-year old girls (actually two over age-18 actresses):

  • Holly (Heather Hogan), a brunette
  • Sherri Van Haften (Spencer Radford), a blonde

The two stripped to their thongs and tried on various outfits, gazed at their reflections in the mirror, shook their bare butts (and bounced them together), flirted, and pretended to make love to each other. The blonde then 'shoplifted' by leaving with a garment under her pink blouse, and the two barely missed being apprehended by a security guard when they exited the store. Backing up in the parking lot in the blonde's red sports-car convertible, she ran into another parked vehicle behind her, but didn't stop to report the incident.

There were further scenes of stand-up and in-lap sex in the storage warehouse between a salesclerk and various co-workers.

Candid Views in a Dressing Room

Lust, Caution (2007) (aka Se, jie)

Academy Award-winning Taiwanese director Ang's Lee's erotic espionage thriller (NC-17 rated) about forbidden love and sexual obsession was based on Eileen Chang's 1979 short story.

The film generated controversy over its three non-gratuitous, non-exploitative (yet explicit and emotionally-naked) sexual encounters (sometimes slightly acrobatic) between the couple (an hour into the film), one of which was essentially rape (a beating with a belt).

The film was severely edited when submitted for distribution to Chinese government censors, and it was released in both R-rated DVD and un-rated theatrical DVD versions.

Set in WWII-era Shanghai, China in 1942 while occupied by the Japanese, the provocative, highly-acclaimed 2 1/2 hour film (in the Mandarin language) told about the complex lives of a sexually-involved couple:

  • Wang Jiazhi (Tang Wei), a shy, idealistic young student
  • Mr. Yee (Tony Leung), a traitorous, cold and brutal Chinese national secret service official

She was transformed into a patriotic resistance movement member and seductive spy when tasked with luring Yee into an assassination trap. She had to succumb to the adulterer's sado-masochistic sexual tendencies, capture his heart, and bring him out into the open.

Wang Jiazhi (Tang Wei) with Mr. Yee

Once (2006-2007, Ire.)

In writer/director John Carney's wistful romantic musical, an unlikely romance developed between:

  • Guy (Glen Hansard), a nameless Dublin street musician
  • Girl (Marketa Inglova), a nameless, married 19-year old Czech pianist/immigrant

Their love was particularly symbolized by their scene together in a nearly-empty music store, when they improvised together on his ballad "Falling Slowly" (the Oscar-winning Original Song of the year). Their duet at the piano (with him playing a guitar) was lovingly sexy:

"I don't know you, But I want you, All the more for that, Words fall through me, And always fool me, And I can't react."

Guy with Girl at the Piano

Persepolis (2007, Iran/US/Fr.)

This dark autobiographical animated film was the coming-of-age story of the main female character, told through various anecdotes (based on her own best-selling graphic novels):

  • Marjane (or Marji) Satrapi (voice of Chiara Mastroianni)

It illustrated how political repression during the 1979 Islamic Revolution in Iran extended deeply into the lives of Iranians.

In one humorous scene, she described her hormonal changes at puberty that caused her to fall over top-heavy:

"My breasts inflated like balloons, then my butt expanded, restoring my center of gravity."

In the young girl's Iranian art class while studying a censored version of Botticelli's Birth of Venus, she attempted to draw a real-life female model - but the woman was completely obscured by an Islamic cloak and veil.

"My breasts inflated like balloons..."

"Birth of Venus" in Art Class

Rise (2007) (aka Rise: Blood Hunter)

A bloody supernatural vampire thriller by writer/director Sebastian Gutierrez was an excuse to showcase attractive, lusting vampires and necrophilia.

In the film's opening, blonde hooker Collette (Cameron Richardson) was hired and then lured by reporter Sadie Blake (Lucy Liu) for $500 to visit an LA mansion to enjoy her same-sex services. When Collette was asked to take a shower to wash her hands, the bars of the shower entrapped her, and she was bound by her feet and hung upside down (topless), with duct tape over her mouth. The unfortunate victim was then questioned by wheelchair-bound Mr. Harrison (Allan Rich).

It appeared that Sadie was intending to feed Collette as a blood-gift to the elderly vampire Harrison in exchange for the address and whereabouts of lead vampire Bishop (James D'Arcy), her own nemesis and killer. But then Sadie double-crossed Harrison and shot him with her crossbow as he was about to feed on Collette, and freed her.

Then, in a flashback, it was revealed that Sadie was an investigative reporter for the LA Weekly, looking into a case about a cult of goths that drank pig's blood in "feeding parties." She was led to an abandoned Koreatown house, where she was attacked, abducted, murdered and left in a dumpster, and turned into a vampire. For the remainder of the film, she sought revenge for her rape and murder. There was one brief lesbian sex scene between Sadie and Eve (Carla Gugino) in red light.

At one point, Sadie found herself stripped naked and hanging upside down in a meat locker by her ankles, with her neck slit as she was being drained of blood. Fortunately, she was rescued and saved by Detective Clyde Rawlins (Michael Chiklis), the vengeful detective father of one of Bishop's first victims Tricia Rawlins (Margo Harshman), so she could continue her quest to track down Bishop.

In the film's conclusion, she battled with Rawlins against Bishop and thrust a dart (a silver crossbow bolt) into Bishop's heart and then the same dart was used by Rawlins to kill Sadie when she begged: "Finish it. I can't live unless I kill, and I can't live that way." For a second time in the film, Sadie was dead, placed in a body bag, and taken to the morgue. However, she reanimated for the second time as the film ended.

Collette (Cameron Richardson) Stripping in Front of Sadie

Sadie with Eve (Carla Gugino)

Sadie Blake (Lucy Liu) Hung Upside Down - Saved by Detective Rawlins

Sex and Death 101 (2007)

Writer/director Daniel Walters' dark and fantasy sex comedy was rampant with nudity, but was a major flop in theatres, earning only $23,000 in domestic box-office.

Its story was about a soon-to-be-wed fiancee, a fast food corporation executive named Roderick Blank (Simon Baker), whose receipt of a mystery e-mail list of all of his sexual conquests (101 in all), past, present and future in chronological order, contained the name of his bride, Fiona Wormwood (Julie Bowen) at # 29.

# 30 was Precious or Carlotta Valdes (Jessica Kiper), a seductive blonde lap-dancer/stripper at his bachelor party one week before the wedding date, with whom he had sex.

Anticipating having sex with the other 71 females, he cancelled his wedding plans and began a compulsive quest to bed them down.

[Note: One of the clever inside-joke aspects of the film was about the names of the females, related to characters in other films, e.g., Carlotta Valdes in Hitchcock's Vertigo (1958).]

One coupling involved a threesome with a "beyond ultimate lesbian power couple" - party-girl authors wearing fairy costumes Bambi Kidd # 63 (Natassia Malthe) and Thumper Wint # 64 (Pollyanna McIntosh).

Another was with Cynthia Rose (Sophie Monk). He met her stark naked in a bathroom in the film's most gratuitous nude scene, but being in the dark and in the wrong bedroom, he had sex with her grandmother instead.

Soon, however, he learned that a busty femme fatale vigilante-style serial killer - a sex-crime avenger named Gillian DeRaisx or "Death Nell" (Winona Ryder) was # 101 on his list. Her tell-tale technique was to seduce chauvinistic men before killing them and then leave behind spray-painted feminist notes on the wall.

In the film's conclusion, he decided to risk sex with "Death Nell" - and they had sex together with "The End" painted in red behind them. However, in a cop-out plot twist, they didn't succumb by taking an overdose of sedative pills to kill themselves, but instead married and had a child together.

Sexual Conquests:

# 30 Precious or Carlotta Valdes (Jessica Kiper)

# 63 and # 64 (Natassia Malthe and Pollyanna McIntosh)

Cynthia Rose (Sophie Monk)

Winona Ryder (as Gillian DeRaisx or 'Death Nell')

Silk (2007)

Canadian director Francois Girard's visually-lush but sluggish 19th century period film - a tale of unrequited love, lust, and betrayal, adapted by Girard and Michael Golding from the novel by Alessandro Baricco, began with a sensual scene of a Japanese female bathing in a hot steamy outdoor bath surrounded by snow (shown more revealing later in the film), with off-screen narration:

"Steaming water. Strange trees. Laughing children. Her skin...those eyes."

Then the film told the story of military officer Herve Joncour (Michael Pitt), a young silk trader in 1862 France, who worked for Baldabiou (Alfred Molina), an ambitious and older silk mill entrepreneur. In an arranged marriage by Baldabiou to give him a new life, he wed gorgeous and loving schoolteacher wife Helene (Keira Knightley)

After his marriage, Herve took a trading journey - first to Egypt, and then a more arduous trek to a remote Japanese village to purchase healthy, uncontaminated silkworm eggs (since much of Europe was plagued with a strange egg-killing virus called pebrine). His wife, often left at home, was frustrated by their inability to have a child during their first two years - they had three discreet nude love scenes when he was rarely home to try and get her pregnant.

During his first trip to Japan, he was enthralled by the beautiful mistress (Sei Ashina) of local Japanese warlord Hara Jubei (Koji Yakusho) who gracefully and elaborately served him tea. Due to the successful trade, Herve became a wealthy man and bought a house and plot of land (for a garden) for Helene. On his second trip, the mistress-concubine bathed him, passed a note into his hand, and offered him a second concubine-servant for the night. The servant undressed in front of him, and gave him one night of adulterous, wordless passion.

Herve's Night of Passion with Mistress (Sei Ashina)

He had a brief glimpse of her the next morning when she bathed naked in the outdoor hot springs and dipped under the water -- but he never saw her again. Upon his return to long-suffering, loving and understanding Helene, he guiltily vowed to himself: "I wanted to tell her everything" but never did ("and it tore me apart").

Soon, he became obsessed by the Japanese concubine, who had given him a note that he had translated by Lyon brothel owner Madame Blanche (Miki Nakatani) of Japanese descent - it was translated as: "Come back, or I shall die." Blanche advised: "Forget about it, not the money, the woman. Forget about her. She won't die and you know it." Although Japan was in political chaos, Herve made a third risky trip back to the village, finding it recently destroyed by rebels and still smoldering. On his return to France, the eggs he had purchased were hatched, and the worms were dead - devastating the town's silk business.

The next winter, Herve received a letter written in Japanese, again taken to be translated by the Madame, who advised him that he should never return:

"My dear master. Do not be afraid. Do not move. Do not speak. No one will see us. Stay as you are. I want to look at you. We have the night to ourselves and I want to look at you. Your body for me, your skin, your lips. Close your eyes. No one can see us. And I am here at your side. Do you feel me? When I touch you for the first time, it will be with my lips. You will feel the warmth, but you will not know where. Perhaps, it will be on your eyes. I will press my mouth to your eyes and you will feel the warmth. Open your eyes now, my beloved. Look at me. Your eyes on my breast, your arms lifting me, letting me slide onto you. My faint cry, your body quivering. There is no end to it, don't you see? You will forever be throwing your head back. I will forever be shaking off my tears. This moment had to be. This moment is and this moment will continue from now until forever. We shall not see one another again. What we were meant to do, we have done. Believe me, my love, we have done it forever. Preserve your life out of my reach, and if it serves your happiness do not hesitate for a moment to forget this woman, who now says, without a trace of regret, farewell."

The Madame left a small blue flower on the letter, similar to a bouquet of flowers left by her on the grave of Helene after she weakened and died in 1875.

Herve tracked the Madame down in Paris, who disclosed in the film's twist, that it was Helene who had written the long letter and had it copied out in Japanese script. According to the Madame, after Helene had unforgettably read the letter outloud, "...more than anything, she wanted to be that woman." Herve responded: "She was that woman."

Later, the remorseful widower sat with young gardener Ludovic (Mark Rendall), and told him about the "real story" of his life with the wronged Helene - the film's story.

The film concluded with Helene's voice-over, reading most of the contents of the letter. She prophetically had declared that she and her husband would always be together, even after she died.

Opening: Unidentified Female in Outdoor Bath

Herve Joncour (Michael Pitt) with Wife Helene (Keira Knightley)

Mistress (Sei Ashina) Serving Tea

Glimpse of Mistress in Bath

Herve's Wronged-Wife Helene

The Simpsons Movie (2007)

Conveniently-placed objects (trees, shrubs, birds, etc.) often (but not always) blocked Bart Simpson's genital area, as he rode around the town of Springfield naked on his skateboard, on a dare from Homer.

But at one point, the animators - for fun - reversed things.

They had Bart skate behind a large hedge fence with a small strip where ONLY his penis was seen - mocking the convention of cleverly hiding a character's privates behind objects.

After being startled as a naked Bart was catapulted toward the window of the local Krusty Burger fast food restaurant where devoutly religious Ned Flanders was giving thanks, he told his kids Rod and Todd to repeat after him:

"Don't forget to thank the Lord for this bountiful -- PENIS."

They dutifully repeated: "Bountiful penis."

Stuck (2007)

Director Stuart Gordon's dark cult film and black comedy was "inspired" by a similar true-to-life tabloid incident in Arlington, Texas in the year 2001. The visceral melodrama was poorly received, grossing only $67,000 with its widest release in 16 theatres over a month and a half.

In this loose adaptation, a Providence, Rhode Island retirement home nursing assistant with trashy corn-row hair, Brandi Boski (Mena Suvari), was a very compassionate worker helping seniors at Silver Cedars Assisted Living facility. She was up for a promotion worth a lot more money.

However, due to binging on martinis and ecstasy drugs at the HighLow club with her co-worker/best friend Tanya (Rukiya Bernard), and talking on her cellphone while driving home after midnight, Brandi committed a hit-and-run accident upon a pedestrian.

She seriously injured a homeless, recently-evicted white-collar worker named Thomas Bardo (Stephen Rea), running into him as he was pushing a shopping cart, and having his bloodied body lodge itself half-way through her front windshield (according to a black witness: "The guy was stuck like a goddamn bug").

In a panic and fearful of what to do next since she was driving under the influence, and although Thomas was pleading "Help me," she hid the car in her garage. In her mind, she put the blame on Bardo, to avoid responsibility:

"I'm sorry. It wasn't my fault. You should have watched where you were going."

She promised: "I'll get help. I'll be right back."

But then selfishly proceeded into her house where she told her African-American drug-dealing boyfriend Rashid (Russell Hornsby), over another few drinks, that she had been in an accident ("I hit someone...but it wasn't my fault"). She explained that there were no witnesses, and that the victim was "a bum...a street person." Rashid was relieved: "Nobody saw it. Nobody gonna give a s--t," reassuring her as they went to the bedroom for lovemaking. Meanwhile, the victim was still struggling for life and within earshot of their rap-music enhanced sex - impaled in the broken windshield glass.

She screamed at the thought of his head crashing through the window while having intercourse, prompting Rashid to believe that his sexual pumping was effectively inciting her lust ("Oh, yeah, baby! F--k ya!").

The next morning, she assured Bardo, still alive: "I called, help's coming," but couldn't convince herself to dial 911. In fact, she clobbered Bardo over the head with a two by four to silence him from honking the horn - to avoid alerting the taxi cab driver who was picking her up for work.

And in the film's social commentary, others were unable to assist - an illegal immigrant neighbor family failed to report "the hurt man" due to their own issues.

Brandi Boski (Mena Suvari) Love-Making with Rashid

Brandi's Hit-and-Run Victim Thomas Bardo Impaled in Windshield

Brandi With Rashid While Vicim Struggled For Life

Superbad (2007)

This Greg Mottola-directed raunchy teen, coming-of-age, sex comedy (from producer Judd Apatow, and with a semi-autobiographical script written by Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg when they were teens themselves) was regarded as the Millennium's new American Pie (1999). It paid homage to American Graffiti (1973) and Fast Times at Ridgemont High (1982). It was a tremendously funny and popular hit during the summer of 2007 (but without the requisite nudity of this genre).

The film was similarly obsessed with male teen anxieties and sexual obsessions, including being genitalia-focused, vulgar and sex-crazed about getting laid before leaving for college, evidenced by these quotes:

  • Seth: "You know when you hear girls saying, like: 'Ah, I was so s--tfaced last night, I shouldn't have f--ked that guy?' We could be that mistake!"
  • Evan: "Just imagine if girls weren't weirded out by our boners and stuff, and just like wanted to see them. That's the world I one day want to live in."

The two main characters-buddies were two outcast, nerdy, inseparable, socially-awkward, best-friend high-school seniors at Clark County's Secondary School, with only two weeks left in school until graduation, who were still awkwardly growing-up:

  • Seth (Jonah Hill), chubby, talkative and assertive, overweight, porn-lover, with an obsession about drawing penises or telling dirty jokes
  • Evan (Michael Cera), slim and tall, more serious, intellectual, and rational

Throughout much of the film, both Seth and Evan were on a quest to give up their virginity to two female students, Jules (Emma Stone) and Becca (Martha MacIsaac) respectively, to impress them and get them drunk by providing the booze at Jules' underaged graduation party.

In the opening sequence, the two talked with Evan's mother Jane (Stacy Edwards), as she leaned forward and revealed her chest to speak to them through the car window, about how they would really miss each other next year by being split up. Evan had been accepted to Dartmouth, while Seth would be attending the local Junior college. As they drove off, Seth boldly noted to Evan: "I am truly jealous that you got to suck on those tits when you were a baby."

The two unpopular guys often talked about scoring with girls, and dreamed of sexual experiences in their future, while usually going without dates, party invites or relationships.

In class, Evan was caught absent-mindedly staring at classmate Becca's breasts - he was obviously infatuated with her, but awkwardly avoided her questions about why he never seemed to attend any parties.

In Class - Evan Caught Staring at Classmate Becca's Breasts

In Seth's home economics class, when he was paired up with Jules (Emma Stone), she invited Seth and Evan to her graduation party that night at her house. When their nerdy and dorky friend Fogell (Christopher Mintz-Plasse) met with them shortly later and bragged about going to obtain a false identification card, Seth was pleased: "You could buy us booze now."

At the school lunch table, Seth explained to Evan why he didn't have a good opinion of Evan's 'crush' Becca. In a flashback to describe how he was traumatized at a young age, he embarrassingly divulged to Evan his obsessive childhood habit of artfully drawing male genitalia:

"Here it comes. When I was a little kid, I kinda had this problem. And it's not even that big of a deal. Something like 8 percent of kids do it, but whatever. For some reason, I don't know why, I would just kinda sit around all day and draw pictures of dicks."

Seth as An Overweight 4th Grader Drawing Genitalia Pictures

Seth told about how in 4th grade as a 10 year-old young boy (Casey Margolis), his neighboring seatmate Becca (Laura Marano) happened to see one of his pictures (a "real big, veiny triumphant bastard" he called it) that he was finishing up, when the drawing was knocked onto the floor (Evan was astonished by the story: "You hit Becca's foot with your dick?"). She screamed, ran from her desk and out of the classroom, and reported him to the school principal. The incident traumatized him with the added revelation that his Ghostbusters lunch box was a "treasure chest" full of a variety of dick drawings.

Seth recalled being disciplined by the school:

"They literally made me stop eating food that was shaped like dicks. No hot dogs, no popsicles. Do you know how many foods are shaped like dicks? The best kinds."

Evan called Seth's obsession "really messed up...super gay!" and left the table. In the school hallway, Seth bragged about how he was getting a fake ID to Jules, and went ahead to promise that he would bring alcohol to her party. Jules was pleased and half-joked: "You scratch our backs, we'll scratch yours." Seth inappropriately joked back: "Well, Jules, the funny thing about my back is that it's located on my cock." Seth felt he had scored and was already anticipating sleeping and having sex with Jules. Following Seth's lead, Evan further boasted to Becca that he could provide her with a bottle of Goldslick Vodka (with gold flakes in it) at the party.

That afternoon, after Fogell acquired a fake ID (for Hawaii) to purchase alcohol, he explained to his pals why he had changed his name to "McLovin", and they derided him about how awful his ID was: "It was between that or Muhammed.... Muhammed is the most commonly used name on Earth"; Seth vehemently complained: "You look like a future pedophile in this picture, number 1. Number 2: it doesn't even have a first name, it just says McLovin!...Fogell, this ID says that you're 25 years old. Why wouldn't you just put 21, man?...No one's McLovin. McLovin's never existed because that's a made up dumb F--KIN' FAIRY TALE NAME, YOU F--K!"

Fogell's Fake Hawaii ID

Seth believed that Fogell would fail to be able to buy liquor for the party with his fake ID, so he determinedly took drastic measures by entering a Good Shopper Store to steal bottles of booze. He experienced a number of fantasy scenarios (success when posing as 22 years old to buy $80 dollars worth of liquor, help from an elderly lady, and a confrontation with a security guard who slashed his throat) before leaving empty-handed. It was now Fogell's turn to enter TJ's Liquor Store and test out his false ID.

Outside as they waited, Seth chastised Evan for being prepared by bringing a condom and spermicidal lube ("That wasn't the plan! We had a plan! I can't believe you did that without even consulting me about it!"). They also spotted a classmate Carey Hutchins who had switched schools. Reportedly, she had breast reduction surgery, to Seth's amazement: "What?! Making her tits smaller? That's like slapping God across the face for giving you a gorgeous gift"; Evan explained: "She had back problems, man. And it's not just making them smaller. They completely reshape them. They make 'em more supple and symmetrical... now that she can jog comfortably, she's in the best shape she's ever..."

Meanwhile, Fogell/McLovin succeeded in illegally purchasing alcohol from clerk Mindy (Erica Vittina Phillips), but became involved in a store hold-up and was punched in the face by the hooded robber, who grabbed cash from the register and fled. When a pair of humorous but inept and talkative cops arrived: Officer Slater (Bill Hader) and Officer Michaels (Seth Rogen), Seth and Even feared that Fogell was going to be arrested. They were unaware that the cops agreed to drive him to the party - and proceeded for much of the evening to do a "ride-along" while blasting the police siren to barrel through red lights, drinking after a call to Bailey's Bar & Grill, taking breathalyzer tests, and practice target-shooting at a stop sign.

In the store's parking lot, Seth panicked with Evan about their lost money and was hit (but uninjured) by a car backing up and driven by Francis (Joe Lo Truglio). In exchange for not reporting the accident to the police, they agreed to be taken to another house party with alcohol, where the angry home owner Mark (Kevin Corrigan) beat up Francis outdoors. Seth ended up 'dirty dancing' with Mark's drunken, menstruating fiancee Jacinda (Carla Gallo), causing a "period blood" stain on his pants, while Evan was cornered in a room with frightening cocaine-snorting thugs, where he was forced to sing The Guess Who's "These Eyes." Before Seth could escape with two laundry detergent jugs from the basement filled with beer, the jealous Mark confronted him with the blood stain, and a brawl broke out.

As the two ran from the party, Seth accused Evan of "bailing" on him. They experienced an intense falling out when Seth complained about how they weren't going to the same college together. Evan hurt Seth's feelings by accusing him of wasting his time for three years: "I'm not going to let you slow me down any more, Seth....I've wasted the last three years of my life sitting around talking bulls--t with you, man. Instead of chasing girls and making friends, I've just sat around wasting all my time with you. And now, because of you, I'm going to college a f--king friendless virgin." And then coincidentally as they argued on a deserted street, the cruiser with the two officers and McLovin' drove by and Seth was hit again. When McLovin' recognized his two friends, they all took off on foot, ended up on a bus, but were thrown out by the bus driver after accidentally shattering the bottle on Goldslick Vodka on the floor of the bus.

They walked three blocks to Jules' party - with some of the stolen beer and the booze purchased by Fogell. As they walked up to the party house, Fogell and Evan admitted to Seth that they were going to be roommates at Dartmouth, upsetting Seth even further: ("...because you're a backstabber and you lied to your best friend, and you only want to hang out with Fogell, and you just don't care anymore?")

The drunken Seth was the hit of the party-goers with the booze and stories of the night's adventures. He approached non-drinker Jules for kisses and sex, but she rejected him due to his alcoholic stupor. Meanwhile, a "smashed" Becca offered a b-job and sex to Evan in Jules' bedroom ("I want you to be my first, I want you inside me, just go with it"), but he respectfully declined due to her physical condition - and then she threw up. The only one to semi-succeed with a partner was Fogell who spent time with attractive, red-haired foreign exchange student Nicola (Aviva Farber). Later, a saddened Seth confessed to Jules that his dream was to have her as his "girlfriend" in the summer, but he had failed. And then he accidentally passed out, fell forward and head-butted Jules, giving her a black eye.

Drunken Becca's Seduction of Evan Before Throwing Up

The party ended due to the arrival of Fogell's two cop friends due to a noise complaint about the underage drinking party. To save his passed-out friend Evan, Seth carried him out of the house. Upstairs, the cops interrupted Fogell in a bedroom having sex with Nicola (he was technically no longer a virgin!), and confessed that they had played along with him the entire time - "We know you're not 25, man. We're not idiots, McLovin." They also apologized for 'blocking his c--k' - and to make it up to him, the cops 'fake'-arrested Fogell to increase his 'bad-ass' reputation with his schoolmates, who then witnessed him being dragged away. After driving off, they did wheelies and donuts with the cruiser and eventually destroyed the car by crashing it and setting it on fire with a flaming alcohol bottle (Molotov cocktail) - and Fogell was allowed to take gun shots at the burning vehicle. Later, they would claim that a crack-head stole the cruiser.

Seth and Evan returned to Evan's house, where they had an old-fashioned sleep-over with sleeping bags. Seth admitted that he had actually known three weeks earlier that Evan and Fogell were going to be college roommates. Evan confessed: "I don't wanna live with Fogell. I never wanted to live with him....I'm afraid to live with strangers. I can't do it." The two unabashedly stated their lasting love for each other, and reconciled as best friends.

The next day, Seth and Evan met up with Jules and Becca at the mall, where they all remained friends and went shopping together. Seth joined Jules to buy cover-up for her black-eye, while Evan and Becca joined up to buy comforters.

(l to r): Evan (Michael Cera) and Seth (Jonah Hill)

Evan's Mother Jane (Stacy Edwards)

In Home Economics Class, Seth Paired with Classmate Jules (Emma Stone)

Seth's Confession to Evan at Lunchtime About Why He Hated Becca - Due to His Revealed Obsession with Drawing Male Genitalia

Becca's Shock at Seth's Obsessive Drawings of Male Genitalia

Dressed Up to Attend Jules' Party

Seth's Fantasy: Slashed Throat When Attempting to Steal Booze

Suspicious Liquor Store Clerk Mindy (Erica Vittina Phillips)

Fogell's Nervous Purchase of Booze - Showing His ID

Officers in Liquor Store - Evan and Seth Assumed Fogell Was Being Arrested

Officers and McLovin/Fogell Drinking at Bar

House-Party: Seth 'Dirty Dancing' at House Party with Menstruating Jacinda

House-Party: Evan Cornered in a Room with Cocaine-Snorting Bad Guys - Forced to Sing "These Eyes"

Intense Falling-Out Between Seth and Evan

Three Guys Reunited With Booze - Heading Toward the Party

Drunken Seth Attempting Kiss with Resistant Jules

Fogell with Nicola in Bedroom

Cops With Fogell Admitting They Were Playing Along With Him

Evan and Seth Professing Their Best-Friend Love For Each Other

Teeth (2007)

Writer-director Mitchell Lichtenstein's full-length feature film debut was this macabre cautionary, coming-of-age tale (and black horror-comedy). It was accused of being misogynistic and feministic at the same time.

Its main female character was one who possessed vaginal teeth:

  • Dawn O'Keefe (Jess Weixler in a breakthrough role), a shy, naive, lily-white virginal high-schooler

Dawn feared that her genitals had undergone "adaptation" with razor-sharp "teeth" - not just the mythic vagina dentate ("There's something inside of me that's lethal" and "I think there might be something weird going on inside"). Her unusual condition was possibly due to the two nuclear reactor cooling towers near her suburban home.

She was the spokesperson for the local chastity group called "The Promise." In her science-health class, the full-page illustration of female genitalia had a big gold star plastered over it, as she explained, to prevent "violation of a woman's natural modesty."

Her pierced, tattooed and maladjusted stepbrother Brad (John Hensley) had a scarred index finger from an early kiddie pool game of "Doctor" with her.

Her first sexual experience took place in a dark cave after a swim with Tobey (Hale Appleman). It ended badly, as did a scene in the gynecologist's office with a perverted Dr. Godfrey (Josh Pais) ("What did you put in here?"), and in a third scene with a predatory male rapist.

Surprisingly, the film displayed views of three severed penises, but no views of the toothy vagina.

Dawn O'Keefe (Jess Weixler)

Dawn with Vagina Dentate

Tobey's Severed Penis in Dark Cave

Virgin Territory (2007)

This Elizabethan-style film was adapted from Giovanni Boccaccio's "The Decameron."

The inept and escapist teen comedy opened with one cartoonish cherub in the heavenly clouds urinating into a cup below, another one farting, and a third duo coupled together, with the quote:

"Not all virgins are angels...and not all angels are virgins."

Director David Leland's direct-to-DVD film was set during the time of the Black Death plague when it threatened Italy. It appeared that everyone in the bawdy cast, except stars Mischa Barton and Hayden Christensen, was seen in various stages of random undress.

It starred Hayden Christensen as young 14th century Lorenzo de Lamberti who failed at obtaining the love of lifelong chaste crush Pampinea (Mischa Barton), so he sought shelter at a convent, posing as a deaf and mute gardener. At the convent, Lorenzo was immediately approached by two lusty and beautiful nuns:

  • Sister Lisabetta (Silvia Colloca)
  • Sister Catarina (Chiara Gensini)

The two sisters stripped off their gowns and offered themselves nude during a candle-lit bath.

Two other randy nuns (Sister Gabriella (Elisabetta Canalis, George Clooney's girlfriend at one time) and Sister Maddalena (Katy Saunders)) approached Lorenzo, jealous of his attention to the other two nuns. Believing he was "like an angel from heaven," they both demanded:

"We want what you gave them, and we want it now."

Gabriella enticingly exposed her right breast to him from under her gown.

In one of the film's more ludicrous scenes, two buxom farm milk-maids, Simona (Maimie McCoy) and Monna (Coral Beed), offered two guys some 'fresh milk' - cow's milk - seen during a sexy instructional scene in which the males were shown how to get milk from the animal's teats. The two orgasmically stroked the cow's teat and squeezed the hot milk onto the guys' faces:

"This is how it's done. You see how it fits nicely into my hand. I love the feel of it in my hand. Wonderful...I would say something a little firmer would be better. Too late, can't stop now. You take it firmly in your hands, and squeeze! Stroke and squeeze!... I love to stroke it. Look, it's comin'. I can feel it hot in my hand...A little faster, it's comin'."

The two then began to make love to them.

Afterwards that night, one of the sexually-frustrated guys had a wet dream of bare-breasted angel Simona flying toward him, surrounded by winged penises.

And in one of the film's many subplots toward the film's conclusion, a naked, skinny-dipping "enchantress" named Elissa (Kate Groombridge) emerged from a pool of water in front of wealthy Russian Count Dzerzhinsky (Matthew Rhys), to disrupt his arranged marriage plans to Pampinea. She kissed him and offered:

"A special moment when a woman must make her gift of heaven's precious jewels. A treasure all women hold dear. The greatest gift a woman can bestow to a man. Some things just can't wait."

Her ploy allowed the interrupted love affair between Lorenzo and Pampinea to flourish.

[Note: The DVD featured three minutes of mostly incongruous "censored scenes of sexuality" footage which might have been cut to avoid an NC-17 rating. One of the cut images in the film was a full-frontal view of Kate Groombridge - her groomed pubic area wouldn't have been appropriate for the time period.]

Two Lusty Nuns: Lisabetta and Catarina with Lorenzo (Hayden Christensen)

Sister Gabriella (Elisabetta Canalis) Exposing Herself to Lorenzo

Milking a Goat

Dream of Bare-Breasted Angel Simona (Maimie McCoy)

"Enchantress" Elissa (Kate Groombridge) with Russian Count

XXY (2007, Arg./Sp./Fr.)

Writer/director Lucía Puenzo's drama was taglined:

"El sexo nos hace hombres y mujeres. O las dos cosas." (Translated: "Sex makes us men and women. Or both things.")

It was probably the first non-exploitative film dealing with the controversial subject of hermaphrodism (technically known as Klinefelter's Syndrome).

It told the unlikely story of 15 year-old daughter Alex (Inés Efron), an Argentinian teenager and intersexed hermaphrodite who was born with both male and female genitalia, although raised as a tomboyish female (and taking hormones to prevent the growth of a beard). She had what doctors called "sexual or genital ambiguity," caused by an extra X chromosome. She lived with her parents in a secluded fishing village in Uruguay, who wanted to keep her away from society's judgmental attitudes..

The drama really commenced when Alex's mother, Suli (Valeria Bertuccelli), invited Argentinian friends to visit for a weekend:

  • Ramiro (Germán Palacios), a plastic surgeon, conservative-minded
  • Erika (Carolina Peleritti), Ramiro's wife
  • Álvaro (Martín Piroyansky), their confused and shy 15-year old son

Suli's goal was to convince her husband, marine biologist Nestor Kraken (Ricardo Darín), that Alex needed to have an operation, to surgically 'correct' her child’s ambiguous sex. Suli wished for Alex to have sex-reassignment surgery as a female.

Unexpectedly, the surgeon's son Álvaro (who was possibly gay and was androgynously attracted to Alex) had an unexpected sexual encounter with her (rear-entry sex), with virginal Alex taking the penetrative male role. The reversal of sexual roles set off a provocative chain reaction. In fact, when given the choice of taking medicines or having surgery, Alex was adamant that she didn't want to make the choice between male or female: "What if there is nothing to choose?"

One day on the beach in a near rape scene later in the film, ignorant local teenagers chased Alex on the beach, sexually-assaulted her, and pinned her down to check out the mystery of her physiology.

Alex (Inés Efron) - Raised as Female

Alex's Sex Scene with the Surgeon's Son

Hermaphrodite Alex's Near-Rape on Beach

Sex in Cinematic History
History Overview | Reference Intro | Pre-1920s | 1920-26 | 1927-29 | 1930-1931 | 1932 | 1933 | 1934-37 | 1938-39
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Index to All Decades, Years and Features

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